I wish things like this still surprised me

Today Rachel went on a field trip with her class. When I picked her up, instead of wearing the uniform she'd had on when I dropped her off, I found her in an unfamiliar "Dino-MITE" t-shirt and red sports pants with flip-flops.

Rachel fell in the duck pond at the park.

I'm not even a little bit surprised.

(The clothes belonged to a boy in her class. Her uniform was covered in duck... stuff. She'd drawn the line at borrowing his underwear though. Because THAT would be too weird.)

How to kiss ass or make friends

Step one: Fresh fruit from the newly opened farmer's market.
Step two: Cut off the green bits before the baby eats them.

Step three: Show your blog friends that you have mad skillz with an apple peeler - that's all one long strip, yo.

Step four: World-famous (ok, maybe not "world" famous, but well known in certain circles) pie crust a la The Mommy.

Steps five and six: Fill and cover.

Step seven: Decorate.

Step eight: Bake, then admire. Then sigh, because they're just so pretty.

Step nine: Deliver to those who teach your children, because that's the kind of mom you are today.

Finnigan is TWO!!!

Yesterday was Finn's second birthday. When you ask him how old he is, he will say "This" and give you his hand, because he wants to hold up two fingers but his fine motor skills aren't quite up to his will yet. But if you pin down the rest of his fingers so that he's only holding two up, then he can show you that he is, in fact, two years old.

And he learned yesterday how to peel his own oranges.

Happy birthday Finnigan!

RAAAWWR!

There has been a cougar sighting on our base. A real cougar, as in here kitty kitty - not the type you find in bars after last call. Anyway, there's been a cougar sighting on our base, and now the military police are putting up big warning signs and the poor kidlets are all stuck inside on cougar lockdown.

I'm thinking of putting a can of tuna on the porch. Just for fun.

My mind: now with two tracks!

I know I have been away a long time. This is because my mouth hurt, and I would have to tell you is how much my mouth hurt, and that is very dull indeed.

The cavern has been repaired. I feel sooooooooo much better now. The only pain I have is from the wedge they had to put between my last molar and my wisdom tooth to space them out so I can actually floss in between. No more trapped stuff, hopefully no more cavities! Yay!

I have much to say now, but I need to round up more pictures, so I'll be back. I'm too busy right now enjoying being able to eat and drink things that are NOT the consistency of baby food and NOT strictly lukewarm.

And also, I have to clean this dump of a house that I ignored due to aforementioned sore mouth.

Then I will come back and show you pictures, because I like pictures on other blogs (because I am nosy that way).

Fun things down your pants

I was mowing the lawn tonight at 9pm (It's hot here, ok?) and when I got in, I had an itch on my leg. So, I scratched it through my jeans, and I felt something small and hard on the top of my thigh (don't go there). I thought it was a pebble, so I pinned it to my leg and reached in to get it.

Not a pebble.

A ladybug.

It was still alive.

I put it on the desk in front of me, and Kronk - who had been sitting in my lap until then - watched it try to walk away.

Kronk was afraid of the ladybug.

But not too afraid to eat it.

Crunch crunch crunch.

Rachel Says:

Rachel: Blah blah blah blah Jesus died because he got hit by a bus.
Me: ... Wait, what?
Rachel: He got hit by a bus, and then they put him in a rock, but then he got alive again and came out.
Me: Jesus did not get hit by a bus, he got nailed to a cross.
Rachel: OHHHHHHHH... I thought he got hit by a bus.

[I think someone needs to pay closer attention during RE (Religious Education)]

I just thought you'd all like to know

... that I had a Twinkie for dinner because my mouth still hurts. Then I had an ibuprofin chaser.

*pout*

Because God hates me personally

Remember how I was whining about having a cavity? Yeah, it's not a cavity, it's a cavern. The dentist doesn't even know if he can save the tooth, so I have to go in again to see if the tooth can be saved via root canal, or if it's a lost cause and I need a molar-ectomy followed by a dental implant (of which I want two, just because then I can walk around telling people I have implants. Heee.). Next Wednesday I go back and he is going to "remove all the soft tissue from that tooth" which sounds like it will hurt but I am assured I do not need the soft stuff, only the hard stuff (always a good rule of thumb, no?). Better me than The Daddy though, I say, because at least I am not a wussy GIRL when it comes to the dentist. Poor Mr. big military man is a-scareded of a little oral action.

Anyway, my new dentist shall now be known as Dr. Hottie, because no need to say open wide - my jaw hit the floor when he came in! Har har har, all is well until he stuck a pic in my cavern (and not the fun way) and then I bit him. Tool. Do not poke exposed nerves with sharp objects! Isn't that like dental rule #3, right after brushing and flossing? I digress. He asked very sweetly if I'd be ok if he blew a bit of air on the bad bits, because (and I quote) he "didn't want to have to peel me of the ceiling - but the pic he just lays into me with. See? Education can only get you so far. So I may or may not look like a hillbilly for a while.

By the by, root canals and tooth removal are covered by our insurance. Crowns and implants are NOT. We're hoping for the root canal and crown, because otherwise I'll have to pony up $3k out of my own pocket. Of course, Dr. Hottie Happy Pic "recommends" an implant because of my age. Youngness wise. See, implants are more durable. WTF does he think I'm putting in there, rocks?

Oh, AND, AND the dumbass that removed my wisdom teeth only got three. I am still somewhat wisdomous. They took my #2 molar instead in that corner. Whatever the hell a #2 molar is. Whatever. The short and the short of it is that the cavity from hell is right beside my stowaway wisdom tooth, but because they removed the molar the wisdom tooth fell over and is now sideways so that the top part is now facing forward in my mouth, which creates a lovely little pocket for food and God knows what to get caught between that and my holey tooth, which explains why it is now so holey. AND depending on whether the stupid sideways wisdom tooth is part of my bite or not, it may or may not get to stay. Nothing like having your wisdom teeth removed twice.

P.S. Dr. McHappyPic and his lil' silver friend have made my toothache about 5 times worse. As in, the pressure from my cheek resting against my tooth sends shooting pains down into my jaw. Good thing he's pretty.

Now Lily. Lily has many cavities, and two teeth need to be extracted, and her jaw is misaligned (a level 2 overbite, for those in the know), and she needs the brackety spacey things because her top jaw is too spacious that the teeth are kind of all floating around with no one to cuddle up to, which makes them do crazy tooth acrobatics, and then she'll need braces when she's 12. The poor dentist pretty much washed his hands of her and referred me to an Pediatric Orthodontist. In fact, she's got so much going on with the rest of her mouth that the doctor didn't even notice that she was missing a third of her front tooth. He let her out of the chair, and I asked him about it, and I got the Blank Stare of Doom that you never ever want to see from your medical professionals. BUT she is now squeeky clean, and the hygenist complemented her on her tooth care habits. And she doesn't even need to floss because of the aforementioned spaciousness of her mouth. Sweet. Now if our teeth could please just stop crumbling of their own accord, that'd be great.

On the plus side, I referred the dental hygenist to BBC, so hopefully she'll come around to straighten out the whole "soda pop in baby bottles" issues there. Not good, people, not good. Don't let your kids get the bad teeth.

Doc told me to take 1000mg of Acetominophen + 800mg Ibuprofen. I have zero cares in the world right now! I'd have a glass of wine, but A) we don't have any, and B) I might die.

Lastly, there really should be more hottie dentists in the world. Because baby, when a hot guy tells you to open your mouth - you do it. No problem-o.

Rachel's appointment is in 3 weeks.
Finnigan's appointment is in a year.
I will have have a standing weekly appointment until then, I am sure.

OH, and I have alignment issues myself AND I need a night guard because I clench and it is destroying my enamel. I'm pretty sure my dentist cried when we left.

Like those kids that are raised by wolves

Have you ever heard stories of kids who are like, abandoned in the woods and then a momma wolf adopts them and they're raised within the pack, and they grow up kind of ferel and wolf-like? It's like that, except instead of wolves, Finn is being raised by a pack of women. We were going out to the car yesterday, and he saw a bug. Do you know what he did? He danced around on his tippytoes, with his arms clutched dramatically to his chest, saying "Ew! Eewww! Ewww, ew eww eww ew!!!"
It was hysterical. If he wasn't so 'boyish' with his build and his haircut, face shape, and armload of toy cars, it would have been downright flamboyant. Can something be "a little bit flamboyant"? Because that was. Unless "a little bit flamboyant" is a catch 22, like Jumbo Shrimp, or New & Improved, or Honest Politics.
He also will not dig in the dirt of the garden with me, and don't even THINK about making him touch a worm (also called a bug, he says).