Dear Tim Horton:

Dear Mr. (late) Horton, or Business Consultant entrusted to act on behalf of Mr. (late) Horton:

Let me first say how very impressed I am by your continued dedication to the Canadian Underpriviledged. Your contributions to creating and maintaining summer camps for the less-fortunate children of the Great White North in an inspiration to corporations everywhere - truly, it is.

May I further commend you on your unequalled quality in the hot beverage/breakfast industry. Your sandwhiches are delicious, your bakery items second to none. Your signature coffee is well known for it's flavour and depth.

However, I do have one small request to make. Although I respect your apparent goals of creating an ethnically-diverse team at many of your locations, might I suggest you stress the importance of ensuring understanding of the following important industry-related terms:

Coffee.
Tea.
Milk.
Cream.
Sugar.
Bagel.
"Toasted".
Butter.
One.
Two.
Three.
Yes.
No.
Water.
In.
Out.
With.
Without.

Additionally, please accept the calculators I have donated to all Tim Horton's establishments within my general vicinity, because the next time your uncomprehending, uneducated, ill-trained, and all-around IDIOTIC excuse for an employee tries to charge me, via interac, $500.00 for a cardboard cup of hot-water-with-milk when I have CLEARLY ordered "Tea. Black" *SIX* times, I'm switching to Starbucks.

Sincerely,
The Mommy.