How to make lunch:

1. Get hungry.
2. Go to kitchen.
3. Unearth counter from under piles of homework, fliers, permission slips, napkins, bills, scribbled shopping lists, children's art, recipies, and - for some reason - seed packets.
4. Take out bread, which has somehow gone stale since it was purchased yesterday - probably due to the fact that you are the only one who knows how to close the bag.
5. Remove old crumb-covered knife from butter, use new knife to apply butter to bread. Wash both knives and put away.
6. Open peanut butter.
7. Wonder why peanut butter is half full of PAM Cooking Spray.
8. Throw peanut butter in garbage.
9. Open honey instead.
10. Wonder why honey is half full of PAM Cooking Spray.
11. Throw honey in garbage.
12. Throw now-empty PAM cooking spray in garbage.
13. Add peanut butter, honey, and PAM Cooking Spray to current shopping list.
14. Take cold-cut bin out of fridge.
15. Attempt to find cold-cut with no pre-existing toddler-sized bite marks.
16. Throw cold-cuts in garbage.
17. Add cold-cuts to current shopping list.
18. Attempt to locate jam.
19. Find jam upside down under kitchen table, with no lid.
20. Throw jam in garbage.
21. Add jam to current shopping list.
22. Comb cupboards for anything else to put on sandwhich.
23. Give up, take money out of husbands change jar, and go to restaurant.