VACCINATE

VACCINATE

YOUR DAMN

KIDS

PLEASE.

It's called "Herd Immunity", google it. It's what eradicated polio. Don't remember polio? Little kids in iron lungs? HERD IMMUNITY. Let me put it in stupid people layman's terms: if you innoculate immunize protect all possible hosts people from a certain disease sickness, then the sickness will simply cease to be. It will be "evolved out". It's like playing an active role in natural selection. For the GOOD of ALL MANKIND. So the next time your namby-pamby whiny, ignorant self opts out of giving little Jimmy a widdle bitty needle because it might give him a big bad owwie which results in a big, fat, crocodile tear - I would personally like to thank you for your stellar role in keeping atrocities like measles, mumps, and rubella alive and well in our society.

And don't give me that crap about the preservatives being linked to Autism. Ketchup has been linked to cancer, but I'll bet you still have that in your fridge. There's no proof that child wouldn't be autistic anyway. At least he'll be HEALTHY and autistic. I'll take the autistic kid over the kid with rubella (she'll be the one with all the unexplained miscarriages), mumps (the infertile kid with testicular swelling and inflamed salivary glands), or measles (ahh, popularity in the form of three C's - Cough, Coryza, and Conjunctivitis). Providing, of course, that they're not dead. But hey, beats the hell out of a NEEDLE, no??

If we're not ALL immunized, we might as well none of us do it. Break them up if you must, just do it.

For the sake of society,

VACCINATE

YOUR DAMN

KIDS

PLEASE

Baby Products That Need Inventing.

1. A walker with a built-in vaccume. This way A.) baby is not creating trails of sweet-potato puffs everwhere he goes, and B.) baby actually improves his environment! It will be like a baby-propelled Roomba. Genius.
2. Whine-cancellation device. Like noise-cancelling headphones, except the size of my house. a baby "mute" button would work too.
3. An Easy-Change crib bumper set. These things are SUCH a PITA to get on and off. Apparently it's easier if you are 7 months old.
4. A vibrating crib. why is it that they have all these newborn beds with a million bells and whistles, but then you have to transfer LO to a crib that's just... a crib? Where's the vibration? Where's the gentle, soothing rocking motion?
5. Baby mouth guards. Not for baby, but for mommy! Those little white chicklets are SHARP.

If I were a little better at following through with these things, I could be RICH.