$TRE$$

I am beyond broke. I mean sickeningly broke. Allow me to enlighten you.

1. I signed up for the Food Bank. I've been twice this week. I got a lot of canned goods, then realized I don't own a damn canopener.
2. I'm about $1000 short this month. I'm due to be cut off from my cable/internet, phone, AND power unless I pay it all by the end of this week. I'm going to call on Monday and cancel the cable/internet and pare my phone down to a basic plan, but that doesn't help what I already owe. Apparently, yes they CAN shut my power off with winter coming.
3. All three kids need winter coats. The girls are wearing MY sweaters under their spring coats because baby, it's getting cold. Finn is wearing a fleece sweater I got him last year at a second-hand store under his raincoat, and no mittens. None of them have winter boots.
4. Gas. It's coming down, but until it's free, we're doing a lot of walking. In the cold. In the rain. I'm not a bloody postman.
5. I don't have prescription coverage, and the pills I'm on for Post Partum Depression are not cheap. Even the generic version. You don't want me unmedicated. I'm useless.
6. I closed my credit card accounts (2), but they're going to collections because I can't make the minimum payments. I owe about $2500 total for both.
7. I survive off the child support my husband sends. $1000/month. Rent is more than half that. Finn's bio dad has dropped off the face of the earth.
8. Car Insurance. Tenancy Insurance. Need I say more?
9. The BumGenius cloth diaper people are going to replace Finn's defective diapers. I can't afford the postage to send the defective ones to Ontario to be replaced.
10. I haven't been shopping in, like, forever. I know that's trivial and stupid, and low on my list of priorities, but it makes me sad. I miss my beloved shopping.
11. I went to see a financial planner. You know what she said? I've got more expenses than income, and that I needed more income. Gee, why didn't I think of that? She gets the Useless Advice of the Day Award.
12. I'm selling stuff I have that I don't want/need, but the market for Crap & Clutter is only so big, and is slow as shit.

Bleh. I don't even have any real vices to indulge in. I don't drink, or smoke, or do drugs. I don't even particularly care for chocolate.

Oh yeah, and the baby has a cold so he's clingy and miserable and full of snot.

Tomorrow is another day. I can scarcely wait.

Another random thing that has been irritating me:

(I don't remember who has it, but this blinkee KILLS me)

"Uneducated people do what they are told. Educated people QUESTION what they are told."

Now I'm no CEO, but if I was looking to hire someone, and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I asked them to do something I was met with "Why? Why do you want me to do that? Why is it important? Why does it need to be done that way? Why does it need to be done?" I would go abso-posi-lutely APESHIT. I don't have the time to walk you through every single detail compiled over years of trial, error, and research just because you haven't been there. Just DO it BECAUSE I'M THE BOSS AND I TOLD YOU TO. Intelligence is knowing when to NOT question, but to act.

Same with children. Will anyone think it's sooooo klassy and matoore and edumacated when our little minor children start questioning every little thing we tell them? NO! OBEDIENCE! I'M THE MOMMY - THAT'S WHY!!! Intelligence is knowing who to trust - and trusting someone with more authority and experience who has your best interests at heart.

Sometimes, you have to just accept that there are people out there who are bigger than you, smarter than you, have more information than you, and have done all the research FOR you. There's no need to re-invent the wheel just because you want to try to be all s-m-r-t and arrive at the same damn conclusion for yourself. Question things that are infinite.

Intelligence is knowing your role in the grand scheme of things. If your mechanic tells you to turn your head and cough - question that. If your doctor does it, you're probably good. If your gynecologist does it? You get the point.

Ohh, well, someone told me there was a continent called "Europe", I dunno though, I'll have to verify that for myself. Intelligence is knowing what's questionable. If the mouth is busy questioning, the ears cannot hear to learn.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is; Orders are orders, and ideas are ideas, and nary the twain shall meet. This blinkee is comparing apples to oranges, and it IRKS me. You take orders. You question ideas. You can EXPOUND on orders, but you're best to not question their veracity. It's not usually very smart.

I'd like to edit this blinkee to say, "Narrcissistic people have stupid blinkees that, when taken literally, translate into a bunch of fluffy nonsense in a desperate attempt to make people think they are smarter (better) than they actually are." Or maybe that's too long? Maybe it should just say "I think I'm better than you." Yeah, that should fit.

Educated people would realize how glaringly idiotic this blinkee is.

I feel better now.

VACCINATE

VACCINATE

YOUR DAMN

KIDS

PLEASE.

It's called "Herd Immunity", google it. It's what eradicated polio. Don't remember polio? Little kids in iron lungs? HERD IMMUNITY. Let me put it in stupid people layman's terms: if you innoculate immunize protect all possible hosts people from a certain disease sickness, then the sickness will simply cease to be. It will be "evolved out". It's like playing an active role in natural selection. For the GOOD of ALL MANKIND. So the next time your namby-pamby whiny, ignorant self opts out of giving little Jimmy a widdle bitty needle because it might give him a big bad owwie which results in a big, fat, crocodile tear - I would personally like to thank you for your stellar role in keeping atrocities like measles, mumps, and rubella alive and well in our society.

And don't give me that crap about the preservatives being linked to Autism. Ketchup has been linked to cancer, but I'll bet you still have that in your fridge. There's no proof that child wouldn't be autistic anyway. At least he'll be HEALTHY and autistic. I'll take the autistic kid over the kid with rubella (she'll be the one with all the unexplained miscarriages), mumps (the infertile kid with testicular swelling and inflamed salivary glands), or measles (ahh, popularity in the form of three C's - Cough, Coryza, and Conjunctivitis). Providing, of course, that they're not dead. But hey, beats the hell out of a NEEDLE, no??

If we're not ALL immunized, we might as well none of us do it. Break them up if you must, just do it.

For the sake of society,

VACCINATE

YOUR DAMN

KIDS

PLEASE

Lets see where my brain goes...

I have complete writers block. I'm sitting here, staring at my blog, waiting for some pearl of wisdomosity to form that I can bestow on you, my dear readers. And I've got...

Nada.

So, I decided to just start typing, and see where my brain takes me. And, GO.

(Insert theme song from "Jeopardy")

*Waiting*

*Still waiting*

Hmmm, ok. Let's start with work. I'm due to return to work in T-minus three weeks. This was a positive thing up until a week ago, when my former supervisor informed me that he has no positions available within his department. See, this is the beauty of Canadian Maternity Leave. Your employer has to hold a position for you, but it does not necessarily have to be the one you vacated when you left. Ergo, whilst when I left I wrote training and procedural manuals, when I return I could be a file clerk. Or a mail distributer. Or a human resource manager. Or a personal assistant. Or a fabricator. Or an installer. The possibilities are endless, really. My money is on the file clerk, though. I'm CHOKED.

I wrote a very kindly worded email (with gritted teeth) to the general manager reiterating about a thousand times my STRENGTHS and PREFERENCES, even though I know that they won't make one iota of difference. It has come to my attention that companies are run solely by power-hungry egomaniacs, and the peon that dares work in anything short of management should be beaten down and condescended to at every turn. However, my intent was not to give them a piece of my mind, but to get everything down in black-and-white. My company, in particular, has a nasty little habit of saying "that never happened/was said/was sent to me/blah blah blah" and well, I'm wilier than that. Here's a bit of crucial advice to anyone surfing the interwebz who has pull in a company of ANY kind. Never try to fuck with someone who is smarter than you are. They'll realize when you're trying to blow smoke up their ass, and more than likely you'll end up eating it plus interest in the form of bad publicity/legal action. Now, I'm not smarter than all the higher-ups in my company, (I speak better english TO BE SURE) but I discovered a long time ago that it is far harder to argue with written evidence than it is to argue he-said/she-said. Ergo, a completely documented and colour-coded copy of all correspondence betwixt myself and my employers has been maintained, by me, and sent, by me, to any and all people I can think of would possibly need/want/get a kick out of one. Because I'm an ass like that. My boss, his boss, the president and CEO, the human resource guy, the general manager, and a few other buddies I have there just for fun. Argue with THAT, suckas. I can't take all credit for this though, it was all Dear Hubby's idea. Because he's an even bigger ass like that. ;)

So, Monday June 2nd at 7am, I shall either be unemployed (and seeking legal action) or doing something for a company that wouldn't know it's ass from it's elbow if handed a map. I've oh-so-politely requested that somebody, anybody, contact me to tell me which position they've "found" for me before I show back up on my first day. Because being assigned field duty would really be a bitch in my standard uniform of tight pencil skirt and icepick heels. Plus, as any fellow curly-haired gal can attest, hard-hat-hair is sooooo not sexy.

Sigh.

Please tell me your company is full of secret hidden evil agendas and run by a handful of power-tripping assholes who would sooner sell you down the river for their mistakes than aknowledge your own validity.

Or don't, because if the whole world is this pathetic I might just check out now.

Sorry for being the Bitter Betty, y'all. I'll think of something so utterly blogtastic you'll all forgive me tomorrow. That, or I'll just slip you all Xanax. That's good too.

A POX on Pedigree's Ad people!!!

Those commercials are driving me CRAZY. Who on EARTH would want to listen to 30 full seconds of a DOG CHEWING??? What kind of DUMBASS thought up THAT??? I am hereby boycotting all things pedigree until they come out with a new series of commercials. Seriously people, your ads are disgusting. They absolutely make my skin crawl. Would you want to listen to a person chew noisily for an entire commercial just to advertise a restaurant? NO! Grow a brain!

Oh, and since I'm on the subject, listen up CMT! Airing those ads a hundered times a night is affecting your ratings. Seriously. I can't even flick through your station for fear you'll be airing YET ANOTHER slobbery disgusting chewing ad. BARF. If Tom Cavanaugh wasn't so dang cute on "Ed", I'd boycott your station altogether just for good measure.

*Shudder*