More time in than out

Today Finn woke up, and his little baby brain thought about what he should do today.
"Should I play with my cars?" the little brain thought. "Should I build a fort?"
"No," said little brain, "today I think I'll be naughty."

"First I'll pick the paint off the wall by my crib. Then I'll pour conditioner on my sister's bed. I'll mop the floor with my juice, rub jam on the cat, and smash some knickknacks.

Then I'll nap."

Little Brain spent his resting time devising new and devious ways to be naughty. He thought, and he thought, and he thought. A plan grew in the deepest recesses of Little Brain. A plan so purely evil it could only be executed by a little boy.

"I think I'll colour. On the wall. With the most expensive lipstick I can find. Then I'll flush a rubber duck, and then I think I'll go out for a walk. Should I tell mommy? Naaaaaah. She'll figure it out. Shoulda brought shoes though. Oh well. Microwaving my spoon was genius, did you see all those sparks??!?

I got banished to my crib.

Freedom! Pulling the cat around by his tail has made me hungry. What's good around here? Oh yeah, BUTTER! I'll take a scoop of that, and some cat food, there, that's better. On to mom's room! I don't like the way she organizes her armoir, I'll help her out. There! They look much better on the floor! Now to stomp on them to make sure they stay down.

Back to my crib.

Freedom! A little cereal on the floor... Oh, ok, a lot. Eh, all of it. Why not! Darn, she took the scissors away. Where did I stick that tuna sandwich? Oh well, I'm sure it'll turn up. OOOOOHHHHH! These raisins fit perfectly through the vents around here! Neat-o! Add some milk... Beautiful.

And I'm back in my crib.

Freedom! Man, gotta poop. Mom's busy, I'll change me! Annnnnd, diaper goes in the wash. What's in there? Whites? Alright. Oh, missed. Ewwww! Slimy! I'll wipe that on the carpet here. Much better. A little paper shredding... It's colourful, that means it's not important!

Crib.

Highchair.

Playpen.

Crib.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."