Monday, 24 November 2008

Wake. SHOVE. Sleep. Repeat.

Lily has been all kinds of freak-o lately, so I have been attempting to give her more Lily-Mommy time. My latest uber-genius plan was to let her spend the night in my bed.

That was dumb.

I have a queen sized bed, usually all to myself. Sharing it with my 6'2", 200lb husband is cake. Sharing it with my 4'2", 40lb daughter made me want to go crawl into her bed. I honestly do not understand how someone so small can take up SO. MUCH. SPACE. She slept like a starfish, all flung out to all corners and also, she snores.

Laly is a bed hog. And a cover hog. And a pillow hog.

My night went like this: Fall asleep on my side of the bed. Wake up an hour later with a hand/foot/bare bottom in my face. Straighten her out, SHOVE her back over to her side, roll over and go back to sleep. Fall asleep, wake up an hour later with a kneecap/elbow, or head jabbing me in the chest. Straighten her out, SHOVE her back over to her side, roll over and try to go back to sleep. Rince, repeat. I got no sleep. Now I'm tired, cranky, and I have a kink in my neck.

And she's back in my bed tonight. Sigh. Maybe I'll sleep here on the couch...

On the upside, both girls went to sleep without a peep! They definitly need their own rooms when we move. Good thing I bought them a damn bunkbed. Sheesh.

Sunday, 23 November 2008

Krista and Daryl - My Christmas Cause

This is KRISTA. She is married to Daryl, and the two of them are the most loving, caring, wonderful couple I know, and I am so blessed to call them friends. They want nothing more this Christmas than a little baby to call their own.

There is no calling more pure than the call to be a parent. This amazing family has endured three painful miscarriages and years of infertility. They've got their angel babies up in heaven, but that does little to ease the ache of empty arms. They have so much love to give, let's help them get someone to give it to!

Now I may not have much, but I have this blog, and I have a simple request. Instead of donating to a nameless, faceless cause this year, please consider helping to change the lives of two very real, very deserving people. This is a goal we CAN reach, and I won't let up until we do.

100% of donations go towards paying for fertility treatments/surrogacy costs/adoption costs. We have zero operating costs, no salaries to pay, and no penny will wasted! We're just a network of people trying to make a difference. Please be a part of that!

Here's how to help: Locate the "Donate" button on my sidebar. Click that and follow instructions! Easy as pie. That money will be put into Krista and Daryl's secure account, and used solely in their pursuit to become loving parents to some lucky baby - whatever it takes.

If you can't do anything else, please visit her blog and send them some warm wishes. This means so much to them.

This Christmas, you can change lives. That's better than anything you could put under a tree.

Friday, 21 November 2008

Vote with Mii!

For Chelsie!!! is giving away a Wii, and my friend Chelsie is being the Best Wife Ever and trying to win it for her hubby who is deployed. Is that not the sweetest thing?!? He's got no idea...

C'mon guys, show some love - it takes 5 seconds.

Go HERE - and vote Chelsie Butts!

"Wii" love you Chelsie!

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Lily is a mvestor*

*Title and spelling/punctuation are as they appear in the book she wrote today. Definitions are provided following each paragraph)

Lily is a mvestor
(Lily is a movie star)

By Lillian

Oumbaua littl gur ous sad.
(One day a little girl was sad.)

intelourn bau se be ckama a mve stor
(Until one day she became a movie star.)

a se wus faumic
(And she was famous.)

The End.

The entire thing was written with a purple hilighter, so the transcription is as close as I can get it. I had her read it to me again to be sure of the translation though, so that much is accurate.

This girl's got aspirations!

I hope he's got an absorbant codpiece

When Finnigan gives one of his "speeches", sometimes a real word pops out among all the gibberish. Today he was babbling on and on while I changed his diaper, and the following converstation ensued:

Finnigan: Blah blah gooblety bliggery ba-ba-ba-dansk shoogle blah...

Me: Finnigan! Who's got a wet little tushie?

Finnigan : BATMAN!!! Blorgolgrshk manmeeee...

I lol'd.

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Not... Necessarily

I was at the mall the other day, and stopped at New York Fries (poutine addiction). Their latest ad campaign is a picture of their classic big ol' tub of fries, with the following slogan emblazoned across it:

"Only contains ingredients people can spell"

Ok, not terribly funny in and of itself, but I can practically hear the giggling from the three people in this world who would understand why I laughed so hard I choked on a fry. (In fact, I laughed so hard that Finnigan initially laughed along, but then he began to look concerned and offered me a slobbery, flat, half chewed fry of his own...)

See, my mom can't spell. Like really can't spell. Once upon a time, she made up a grocery list and wanted my dad to buy a Sweet Potato. However, what she wrote down was Sweat Pototoe. That quickly became a running joke at our house. THEN she sent my brother and I to the store to buy one of those long skinny crusty breads. She wanted, and I quote, a "B-a-9-*" (at least, as near as we could decipher). We ended up having to call her and ask if she wanted a baguette or a bagel. We were practically rolling on the floor with glee at this point.

To this day, Bear and I will ask eachother if we want some B-A-nine-asterisk with dinner, or leave it written down on scraps of paper somewhere in the house.

I wished I had a sharpie. And a camera.

"Only contains ingredients most people can spell." But not you, mom.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

FEBCAK: Finnigan Exists Between Couch And Keyboard

Andrew and I chat on MSN every day, and I frequently leave the window open even when I'm away from the computer. This evening, after I had put the kids to bed for the night, I sat down at my computer to find the following conversation had taken place: ***(Please note that Andrew's MSN icon is a picture of him, and mine is set to a picture of Finn.)

Kira says (7:54 PM):

Kira says (7:54 PM):

Andrew says (7:54 PM):
hello finn

Kira says (7:54 PM):

Kira says (7:55 PM):

Andrew says (7:59 PM):

Kira says (7:59 PM):
;;;;;;;;;8 \]';/

Andrew says (8:01 PM):
love you too buddy


Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen??!? He wanted to talk to his daddy! Awwww, that's so sweet I just want to go get him out of his crib and kiss him all over his little self.

Look what I found!

The girls and I were walking home from the grocery store today, and came across this, all abandoned and forlorn looking:

Cool, no? I'm not sure what to do with it, but I like it. It could be a magazine rack:
(I have too many magazines, apparently)

Or it could be a towel holder thingy:
(You can never have too many towels)

Lillian suggested I use it to hold all my purses:
(No wonder I can never find my lipstick!)

Thoughts? Suggestions? Envy? ;)

He's so pretty

Yes, they're his sisters'. I've caught him wearing them at least a half a dozen times today. He loves them.

Should I be concerned that he's obsessed with pink faux fur?

Poetry for short attention spans

Lillian: Mommy, I wrote you a poem!

Me: Thanks Lily! Let's hear it.

L: "Mommy. You."

Me: *Waiting expectantly*

L: That's it mommy.

M: Oh. It's lovely!

Monday, 17 November 2008

She's learning so much in Sunday School

Lillian: Mommy, who's birthday is it on Christmas again?

Me: Ummm... Jesus?

Lillian: Yeah.

Me: Ok then.

Best money I ever spent

Today I paid Rachel a twoonie to clean a full double sink's worth of dishes, and I paid Lillian a twoonie to fold what amounted to three loads of Finnigan's laundry. Finnigan is wiping down the placemats for free, on the condition that he gets to eat whatever particles he picks off of them.

Earlier, the girls sorted the overflowing laundry hamper from the bathroom into four loads.

I'm sitting on the couch blogging, because I'm just beat from all the chores "I'm" doing.

I knew I had kids for a reason.

Sunday, 16 November 2008

I'm going to Hell

I'm watching a show about a 600lb woman.

While I eat cheesecake.

Oh yeah, Karma's gonna spank me for sure.

Teachin' him young

Today I like Finnigan best.

Saturday, 15 November 2008

I'm a lucky girl

Why, you ask? Because my hubby bought me a pipe wrench. Thrilling, no?

To be fair, it was used to install the new washer and dryer he bought me. I found them on Craigs List, brand new set, $200 for the pair!!! Whirlpool! Side-by-side! Extra-Large Capacity!!! They still have the protective plastic on them! The previous owners bought them and then when they moved into their new house they realised that, oops, what they needed was the stacked washer/dryer combo. Good for me. :)

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

That'll teach me to be uprepared

Today the baby snorked a giant booger on me outside in public. I didn't have any tissues, so I was forced to wipe the enormous snot planet on the bottom of my shoe.

I hope nobody noticed.

Word Quotas

I've often thought that people have a set amount of words they have to get out each day. These "Word Quotas" compel us to make small talk, call people just to say hello, and engage in any conversation about the weather. Normal people have a daily word quota of about 5000. My brother Bear has a word quota of about 6, if you include grunts. My other brother Mike has a word quota of just over 4 billion. Being around him is like spending time under florescent lighting. It drains all your energy, gives you a migraine, and you're left with a dull buzzing in your ears that lasts for days.

Rachel's word quota defies math. Somewhere there is a number high enough to account for all the words she crams into one day, but it has yet to be named. Never mind getting a word in edgewise, good luck getting a word in if she's concious. Nay, good luck if she's breathing. She talks when she's awake. She talks in her sleep. She talks in class. She talks when there's nobody there to talk to. She talks to strangers. She talks about strangers. She talks to strangers like she's their long lost friend, and she needs to catch them up on everything that has happened since her birth. She sings in the shower. She'll carry on both sides of a conversation. She's talking right now, and I put her in bed an hour ago.

The Daddy got her a toy phone for her birthday. I think The Daddy hates me. She ran the batteries dead in two days. Never mind saving for college, I'm saving for her first phone bill.

All I want for Christmas is a good set of earplugs.

Monday, 10 November 2008

I'm wearing my poppy...

...on my hat, because when I had it on my lapel I kept stabbing the baby with it. I'm still wearing it, so quit lookin' at me like that.

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Boys are weird

Today in the bathtub, Finnigan found his buttcrack. He was fascinated.

It was pretty funny watching him spin around and around in the tub trying to look at his own backside.

I don't know why I even bother putting bath toys in the tub with him. His own body is obviously much more fun to play with!

Saturday, 8 November 2008

I don't care

I'm breaking out the Christmas movies. Nothing lifts my spirits like Chevy Chase in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.

Somebody send me some good Christmas music, the CD's I have suck glittery tree balls.

The Story of Us: Abridged Version

*This is for you, Stacy ;)*

Andrew and I met just after I turned 17, while living in Ontario. We were at a party thrown by a mutual friend, and he asked me for a kiss. In turn, I gave him shit for being so cocky when, and I quote, "You don't even know my last name!". This is now a running joke.

He moved in with me to the top floor of my parents house some four months later. Anything to get out of the military barracks, right dear?

Then came the posting to Edmonton. He had to leave. I didn't want him to go, and he didn't want to leave me. He decided he was going to quit the military and find work as a mechanic nearby. I gave him shit again, and suggested that instead I just come to Edmonton with him. My mom gave us both shit. We went anyway.

I got pregnant with Lillian shortly thereafter. Fourteen and a half months after she was born, I had Rachel. **Side note: Finn is 17 months old. I can't IMAGINE having him and a newborn!!!

When Rachel was four months old, we finally got married. Our wedding day was three days before my 20th birthday. Andrew likes to tell people that on his honeymoon, he slept with a 19 year old AND a 20 year old. I give him shit for that. He's mouthy that way. ;)

At some point he went on tour with the military to Afghanistan. :(

After we'd been married a few years, things kind of hit the skids. A lot of small issues led to a lot of big issues, which led to us separating and me moving with the girls to B.C. to be near my family. We lived in "Transitional Housing" for a while, which is kind of like a women's shelter but nicer. Picture living with your wealthy aunt, and a half-dozen female cousins with their children. We had a great house, chores, and locks on our bedroom doors. We lived there for about two months, and then got a place nearby in subsidized housing. That's the three-bedroom apartment we're in now. My rent is based off my income. Technically, with no income, I don't qualify to be here - so my landlord fudged the documents and said that I'm receiving Unemployment when I'm not. I already gave him verbal notice that I'm moving, so it's not going to be forever.

Andrew decided fairly quickly that whatever problems we had we could work through and be a family again. I don't know what I was thinking. I'd gone from my parents house right into my boyfriends house, and now I was on my own for the first time ever. I decorated the way I wanted to decorate, I watched what I wanted to watch on TV, I made all my own financial decisions, I got a job, went to school, and took care of the kids. I dated.

I dated a guy from work who is fourteen years my senior. I'd like to say I regret it, but I can't totally regret it, because he gave me Finnigan. In the end, all the things that had attracted me o him turned out to be... Not real. I'd been seeing something that wasn't really there. I couldn't stand his kids, and he struggled to get along with mine. He turned out to be a loser who is now renting a room in his brother's house, because even though he's had the same damn job for the last 12 years, he can't seem to manage to get his own apartment. He had no backbone, and eventually lost his lustre. I left him, and kept the pregnancy.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that what I really wanted was what had been there all along. When I'd found out I was pregnant, I couldn't imagine going through it with anyone but Andrew. He'd always, ALWAYS been there for me, and I feared that by the time I finally came around he'd have washed his hands of me for good. We went back and forth through most of the pregnancy, with Kevin (Finn's sperm donor) popping in and out of my life. It all came to a head around the time Finn was born, when Andrew told me he had a girlfriend, and he wanted her to meet MY kids. (Yes, I was irrational, OK?). I came unglued. Told him no way, no how, if he brought that slut (see? irrational) here we'd be gone and I'll see you in court thankyouverymuch.

Then it hit me. Uhhh, maybe I'm doing all this because *I* still love Andrew! It was like I always thought he'd be there, waiting in the wings, and that's what gave me the strength to move on and make my way in the world. I never thought he wouldn't be there, and I counted on him more than I realized. He was my rock, and I took him for granted. I gave me shit for that. Then I called him. I confessed everything. I begged forgiveness. I cried, and pleaded, and told him I loved him and that I was stupid. Queen Supreme Stupid in the land of Stupid People. He told me it might be too late. I died inside. He said he couldn't risk his heart again if I wasn't in it for life this time. I thought long and hard about that. I decided I was in it for life and set about convincing him.

Andrew's parents planned a trip to Disney world the August after Finn was born. Andrew was still living in Edmonton at the time, and his parents live overseas. They flew through here, picked up the girls, and left. The next day, Andrew flew me out with the baby. If we're going to try to be a family, we have to actually spend time together. So we did.

We've been putting our lives back together ever since. Andrew took a posting out to this province, the nearby base fell through so he got stuck on the island. We spend whatever time we can together, we've vowed to make it work. We are making it work. Step by step, we're putting the pieces back together. Undo the paperwork (we never filed an official separation, but we're separated as far as the military is concerned) get a house on base (we won't all fit in his bachelor pad!) and move allll our shit. I hate packing. I hate moving. But I love Andrew.

The girls are ecstatic, and Finn has never known any other daddy. Andrew loves that little boy to bits, and totally, completely, 100% accepts him as his own. Weirdly enough, Finn is the only child who has blue eyes like Andrew. We both giggle whenever a stranger says how much he looks like his daddy. (Kevin has dark brown eyes, mine are green.) We're going to renew our vows eventually.

So that's pretty much that. We've committed to making this work, we've been "back together" for more than a year now successfully after about two years apart. We talked a LOT, and we're learning and growing together as a couple and as a family. Truly, our relationship has never been better. I love this man, and I love our family, and sometimes taking a break can be the best thing for a relationship. Now we know what we have, and we'll fight tooth and nail to keep it.


Friday, 7 November 2008

Re: My last post

I know the money thing is not going to be a problem forever, I will eventually get a new job and DH and I will live together - therefor not have to support two seperate households, we'll have two incomes and half the bills... It just sucks right now. There's no real point in me getting a job right now, because we leave for Singapore in a month and we'll be there for three weeks. Sometime before then, I have to move to the island. That means I'll be packing up the entire house. By myself. Even if I were able to find a temp job in the meantime, I'd have to set up daycare all over again someplace new, and start all over again applying for daycare subsidy. By the time I was finished the paperwork, it'd be time to say goodbye.

Sigh. I'll pay my rent, and I'll call the electic company on Monday. Other than that... Who knows? I don't know. I wish I knew. I'm fresh out of ideas.

P.S. I don't qualify for welfare because Andrew actually pays child support. Too bad so sad for us.


I am beyond broke. I mean sickeningly broke. Allow me to enlighten you.

  1. I signed up for the Food Bank. I've been twice this week. I got a lot of canned goods, then realized I don't own a damn canopener.
  2. I'm about $1000 short this month. I'm due to be cut off from my cable/internet, phone, AND power unless I pay it all by the end of this week. I'm going to call on Monday and cancel the cable/internet and pare my phone down to a basic plan, but that doesn't help what I already owe. Apparently, yes they CAN shut my power off with winter coming.
  3. All three kids need winter coats. The girls are wearing MY sweaters under their spring coats because baby, it's getting cold. Finn is wearing a fleece sweater I got him last year at a second-hand store under his raincoat, and no mittens. None of them have winter boots.
  4. Gas. It's coming down, but until it's free, we're doing a lot of walking. In the cold. In the rain. I'm not a bloody postman.
  5. I don't have prescription coverage, and the pills I'm on for Post Partum Depression are not cheap. Even the generic version. You don't want me unmedicated. I'm useless.
  6. I closed my credit card accounts (2), but they're going to collections because I can't make the minimum payments. I owe about $2500 total for both.
  7. I survive off the child support my husband sends. $1000/month. Rent is more than half that. Finn's bio dad has dropped off the face of the earth.
  8. Car Insurance. Tenancy Insurance. Need I say more?
  9. The BumGenius cloth diaper people are going to replace Finn's defective diapers. I can't afford the postage to send the defective ones to Ontario to be replaced.
  10. I haven't been shopping in, like, forever. I know that's trivial and stupid, and low on my list of priorities, but it makes me sad. I miss my beloved shopping.
  11. I went to see a financial planner. You know what she said? I've got more expenses than income, and that I needed more income. Gee, why didn't I think of that? She gets the Useless Advice of the Day Award.
  12. I'm selling stuff I have that I don't want/need, but the market for Crap & Clutter is only so big, and is slow as shit.

Bleh. I don't even have any real vices to indulge in. I don't drink, or smoke, or do drugs. I don't even particularly care for chocolate.

Oh yeah, and the baby has a cold so he's clingy and miserable and full of snot.

Tomorrow is another day. I can scarcely wait.

Monday, 3 November 2008

Creepy to the extreme

I'm watching Love It or List It right now on W network.

The wife's name is Kira.

The husband's name is Andrew.


FTR, these people are NOT US. They are much better looking, and have more money. These are the people we only wish we were. ;)

I'm a mommy - I don't have time to bleed!

I was tooling around in my kitchen today, making breakfast for the baby and coffee for the mommy, and I SMASHED my elbow off of my very favorite big glass bowl. Remember the one on top of my microwave from THIS post? Yeah. Well, the girls had been foraging for goodies in the cupboard above it one morning last week, and dropped a can of lentils on it, breaking a chunk off of the edge. (*tear*) Anyway, I SMASHED my elbow off of the sharp and jagged glass edge of my very favorite - and now broken - glass bowl. It hurt, but not bad enough to slow me down. I said "OWW!" and rubbed my elbow because, as Murphy would have it, I'd caught my funny bone. Then I carried on with the eight zillion things I was doing. A few minutes later I noticed there was blood in my hand. WTH? Where did that come from? Hmmm, there's blood in both hands. And on a lot of things in my kitchen. And on the floor, and on my shirt, and all up my arm, and ooooooooooh. Right. My elbow. Apparently I had cut myself clean through to the white bits and not even noticed. Much cleanup later, I finally got a good look at my new injury. Do you know how hard it is to see one's own elbow? Difficult. Yup, deep cut. As in, if-it-were-any-longer-I'd-need-stitches-deep. Luckily, it's only about a half inch long at most.

In true mommy fashion, I had no time to slow down and tend to it though. So, before I got the bleeding under control, I had to:

  • Feed the baby.

  • Make the baby a bottle.

  • Change the baby.

  • Put the baby to bed.

  • Clean up the kitchen.

  • Clean up the blood.

Of course, we all remember that Rachel has used up every band aid in the known universe, so I had to just blot blot blot and wait to clot. Fun.

Then I took a nap. I was a little worried about the bleeding as all my bedding is cream coloured, but I have accents of crimson anyway so I figured what the heck. It'll blend.

When I woke up, I again forgot about my dang elbow! Do you realize how many things you lean your elbow on in a given day? Lots. I know so because every time I find a new one, my newly gimpified elbow reminds me.

I'd post a pic, but I do. not. bruise. Like, ever. With all that blood and elbow hurtage, you'd think I'd be black and blue, right? Notsomuch. So it just looks like a paper cut, and you'd all call me a whiner. I'm tellin' you though, it feels like a bruise.


Yesterday, I was cleaning a piece of glass from a frame I'd pulled out of my storage room. My very sweet husband let me sleep in and took Finnigan out while the girls were at school, and got my new favorite picture blown up and printed.

Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard??

I so happened to have a frame to fit it, but I didn't have anything to Windex it with, so I ended up washing it like a dish. It worked, except for the part where my hand slipped and I cut the inside of my knuckle open. It was the inside of my big knuckle on my ring finger of my right hand though. The most useless finger of all - especially for someone who doesn't usually wear jewelry. No matter. Just goes to show you how much of an accident magnet I am.

Andrew went home yesterday, so I don't even have anyone to whine to! Gah.

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Where's the MUTE button?

Andrew went home today, so you know what I've been hearing outta the baby ever since?

Da-da da-da-da da-da?? Daaaaaaaaaaa-da?! D d d d d d d DA-DA! Da-da? Da-da? Da-da?
Da-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Da-da! Do do do do do do DA-DA! HEEEEEEEEEEEEE Da-da!