Fun things down your pants

I was mowing the lawn tonight at 9pm (It's hot here, ok?) and when I got in, I had an itch on my leg. So, I scratched it through my jeans, and I felt something small and hard on the top of my thigh (don't go there). I thought it was a pebble, so I pinned it to my leg and reached in to get it.

Not a pebble.

A ladybug.

It was still alive.

I put it on the desk in front of me, and Kronk - who had been sitting in my lap until then - watched it try to walk away.

Kronk was afraid of the ladybug.

But not too afraid to eat it.

Crunch crunch crunch.

No, it's not a metaphor

*Ring Ring!*

Me: Hello?
Friend: Hey. Whatcha doin'?
Me: Washing my basil.
Friend: "..."
Me: No, really.
Friend: Oh. Well... Ok. Bye...
Me: "..."

*click*

(Fruitflies had laid eggs on my basil, and I don't want to use bug killer on food - so I washed them off with water. What? I thought that was genius! Little buggy bastards.)