Children, not necessity, are the mother of invention

My children should be categorized as natural disasters. They should be listed on my tenants insurance right there under Fire, Water, and Acts of God. They walk into a room and things just break. These inanimate objects, they just curl up and die. Today it was two curtain rods. I had a double rod hung over my big front window, and the children came into the room and suddenly the rods were twisted around like pretzels. The curtains were wrapped around the rods and anchors like macrame from the Insane Asylum.

The rods were a total loss. My curtains were salvageable once I extricated them from the twisted mass of aluminum destruction clinging to the center support hook. The set I had up is two panels of cream coloured sheers, two overlay panels of cream/gold brocade, and a two layer valance in cream/sage gingham topped with a creme-based flower-motif embroidered runner ALL SEWN TOGETHER. I made it, and I made it idiot-proof. It's all one piece - easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?

Right.

I'm too cheap to buy new rods, to leery of hanging them, and too lazy to do it anyway. So we went old school.

I took that complicated mass of fabric, and I stapled that bitch to the wall. Oh yes, I did. God bless the Staple Gun. And you know what? Looks exactly the same. It's too thick to rip through, so if they pull it down again (should I ever let them out of their rooms) it'll take 10 seconds and 1/2 a cent worth of aluminum to fix it. It's affixed to the strip of wood hung for the curtain rods anyway, so it's as secure as the upholstery on my couch. So far the only damage to that is a quarter-sized hole Lily cut out with scissors. Matches the hole in her head.

*Brushes imaginary dust off hands*

This concludes our lesson on how to decorate a grown-up home with frat-boy ingenuity.