Monday, 28 April 2008

Rules for Craigslisting, According to Kira

1.) Don't charge me a price for your used piece of crap that I can get it for new. It's just not worth it, and I don't get that "retail therapy" high as when I have a flashy new carrier bag and a receipt.

2.) Don't pose your dog in all your pictures of your table/baby swing/flowerpot. No I don't think your dog is cute. At all. And I don't want to pay for your used crap just to have to dig it out from under layers of pet hair. Nor will I give you a dime more for your item because of any icky-poo cutesy puppy model. I'll actually probably just skip your listings all together.

3.) When you contact me regarding one of my listed items, and you would like to buy it, don't assume I'll hold onto it until the end of time/whenever you can get your butt off the couch. Sorry, but I'm in this to get rid of my crap and make a few bucks. Not to be your personal storage shed.

4.) If your item is no longer available, remove your posting. 'Nuff said. Don't waste my time getting my hopes up. Let me move on!

5.) Don't make me guess what your item looks like. Post a CLEAR picture, with the item for sale taking up as much of the photo as possible. Otherwise I'm inclined to believe that china hutch/living room set/toddler is included with the listed teacup.

6.) Wear clothes when photographing reflective items. You all know what I'm talking about.

7.) Saying "if item isn't bought by x-day, it's going to the dump" doesn't instill a sense of value to your item. Unless you're giving it away for free.

8.) "Unique" means there are one of them in the world. "Rare" means there are very few of them in the world. Items purchased from Walmart/Ikea/Future Shop qualify as neither.

9.) True antiques are, by definition, AT LEAST 100 YEARS OLD. Looking "old" does not qualify your item for antique status.

10.) "Mint Condition", "Near-Perfect Condition", and "Excellent Condition" are not interchangeable terms. If you've so much as SNEEZED on it, it's not Mint Condition. Gently used items are automatically relegated to the "Decent but Useable" category.

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