Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Because God hates me personally

Remember how I was whining about having a cavity? Yeah, it's not a cavity, it's a cavern. The dentist doesn't even know if he can save the tooth, so I have to go in again to see if the tooth can be saved via root canal, or if it's a lost cause and I need a molar-ectomy followed by a dental implant (of which I want two, just because then I can walk around telling people I have implants. Heee.). Next Wednesday I go back and he is going to "remove all the soft tissue from that tooth" which sounds like it will hurt but I am assured I do not need the soft stuff, only the hard stuff (always a good rule of thumb, no?). Better me than The Daddy though, I say, because at least I am not a wussy GIRL when it comes to the dentist. Poor Mr. big military man is a-scareded of a little oral action.

Anyway, my new dentist shall now be known as Dr. Hottie, because no need to say open wide - my jaw hit the floor when he came in! Har har har, all is well until he stuck a pic in my cavern (and not the fun way) and then I bit him. Tool. Do not poke exposed nerves with sharp objects! Isn't that like dental rule #3, right after brushing and flossing? I digress. He asked very sweetly if I'd be ok if he blew a bit of air on the bad bits, because (and I quote) he "didn't want to have to peel me of the ceiling - but the pic he just lays into me with. See? Education can only get you so far. So I may or may not look like a hillbilly for a while.

By the by, root canals and tooth removal are covered by our insurance. Crowns and implants are NOT. We're hoping for the root canal and crown, because otherwise I'll have to pony up $3k out of my own pocket. Of course, Dr. Hottie Happy Pic "recommends" an implant because of my age. Youngness wise. See, implants are more durable. WTF does he think I'm putting in there, rocks?

Oh, AND, AND the dumbass that removed my wisdom teeth only got three. I am still somewhat wisdomous. They took my #2 molar instead in that corner. Whatever the hell a #2 molar is. Whatever. The short and the short of it is that the cavity from hell is right beside my stowaway wisdom tooth, but because they removed the molar the wisdom tooth fell over and is now sideways so that the top part is now facing forward in my mouth, which creates a lovely little pocket for food and God knows what to get caught between that and my holey tooth, which explains why it is now so holey. AND depending on whether the stupid sideways wisdom tooth is part of my bite or not, it may or may not get to stay. Nothing like having your wisdom teeth removed twice.

P.S. Dr. McHappyPic and his lil' silver friend have made my toothache about 5 times worse. As in, the pressure from my cheek resting against my tooth sends shooting pains down into my jaw. Good thing he's pretty.

Now Lily. Lily has many cavities, and two teeth need to be extracted, and her jaw is misaligned (a level 2 overbite, for those in the know), and she needs the brackety spacey things because her top jaw is too spacious that the teeth are kind of all floating around with no one to cuddle up to, which makes them do crazy tooth acrobatics, and then she'll need braces when she's 12. The poor dentist pretty much washed his hands of her and referred me to an Pediatric Orthodontist. In fact, she's got so much going on with the rest of her mouth that the doctor didn't even notice that she was missing a third of her front tooth. He let her out of the chair, and I asked him about it, and I got the Blank Stare of Doom that you never ever want to see from your medical professionals. BUT she is now squeeky clean, and the hygenist complemented her on her tooth care habits. And she doesn't even need to floss because of the aforementioned spaciousness of her mouth. Sweet. Now if our teeth could please just stop crumbling of their own accord, that'd be great.

On the plus side, I referred the dental hygenist to BBC, so hopefully she'll come around to straighten out the whole "soda pop in baby bottles" issues there. Not good, people, not good. Don't let your kids get the bad teeth.

Doc told me to take 1000mg of Acetominophen + 800mg Ibuprofen. I have zero cares in the world right now! I'd have a glass of wine, but A) we don't have any, and B) I might die.

Lastly, there really should be more hottie dentists in the world. Because baby, when a hot guy tells you to open your mouth - you do it. No problem-o.

Rachel's appointment is in 3 weeks.
Finnigan's appointment is in a year.
I will have have a standing weekly appointment until then, I am sure.

OH, and I have alignment issues myself AND I need a night guard because I clench and it is destroying my enamel. I'm pretty sure my dentist cried when we left.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I don't think he'd have cried..he probably did the happy dance because with all the work you need done, he can now fly to Fiji for his vacation this year!