Some background on C's family; not to lend credence to my story, simply because it's somewhat related and I want to get it off my chest!
- I have spoken to other mothers in my complex recently, and I'm pretty sure they are where the lice outbreak originated. C seems to be Patient Zero, as it were. What's worse is that her parents seem unwilling to follow through with treatments, as she has been brought home by other parents, her lice situation explained to her parents, been treated with shampoo and sent right back out! :0 :0 :0 If there's one thing I know by now, it's that SHAMPOOS ALONE ARE NOT COMPLETE LICE TREATMENTS. Nit picking is essential. Yes, it takes hours. Yes, it sucks, but YES it is NECESSARY. She's not being nit-picked, so the lice keep coming back and back and back... That, along with the fact that her and her brothers and sisters (no one is really sure how many of them there are. They're like amoeba, I think. Just when you think you've counted them all, they split off and double...) are loose all day in the complex, I shudder to think of the bug carpet they must be spreading. It's like Hansel and Gretal, except instead of breadcrumbs, it's bugs. Creepy crawly little bugs that vant to suck your blooood. El grosso. So many of us other moms want to just grab them and pick out the eggs ourselves, but don't want a big fat "You touched my child" lawsuit. C's dad's solution? He told her to not scratch in front of people!!! :0 Like that will solve anything!!!
- Like I say, the kids are loose all. day. long. I bet I could adopt one and no one would notice. Maybe the little twins, they're pretty cute. I'd have to de-louse them and bathe them with a brillo pad first, but still...
- The older sister has something fundamentally wrong with her. Rachel got the bright idea to have a pretend picnic on the trunk of our car (No, not allowed in the parking lot. Yes, got punished big time.) and the older sister, "K", decided to let herself and all her siblings into my car, then found a rogue carton of milk from one of the girls' school lunches and dribbled the gross, curdled, chunky cheese-milk ALL OVER MY INTERIOR!!! I have never wanted to kill someone else's child more than I did in that moment. I got a call from a neighbour telling me there was a neighbourhood's worth of children in my car, and when I went to investigate I saw that. All over the passenger seat, all over and IN the center console, all over the ENTIRE backseat, including three carseats (and we all know how ANAL-TO-THE-NTH-DEGREE I am about Finn's stuff. The girls' carseats have removeable covers.). You know what I did? I bypassed mom and dad, went around the complex gathering up their urchins, and made THEM clean it out! I handed them bags and lysol, and latex gloves, and stood over them giving them the look until I was satisfied. The ONE TIME I clean out my car, this is what happens... Geez. (My car had been cleaned. I really don't know where the milk came from. Under the seat?)
I really don't think you need any more, do you? Useless parents, wild children, and a big fat bill for me. Lovely.
When am I moving again?