Boys really are just small men

Any mother with experience raising boys AND girls will tell you that they might as well be different species. This is because boys are small men, and girls are small women, and we all know how similar those two types are. This point is driven home for me time after time after timeaftertimeaftertimeaftertime(...) with my young son. He is SUCH a MAN! He eats like a pig, and leaves food scattered a distance no less than equal to his full height in all directions whenever he does. He takes things apart and leaves them that way. He expects me to do all his laundry AND put it away. He will NOT ACCEPT that the square peg does not fit into the round hole. He is obsessed with his genitals. By the end of the day, he smells. He leaves dirty socks by the side of the crib. He doesn't help with dishes. He wont share the remote. He doesn't listen. He doesn't pick up after himself. He snores. He thinks art is just scribbles. He's got no sense of rhythm. He takes off all Barbie's clothes and puts her in his truck. He sleeps all day. He's got one coat, and one pair of shoes, and he's ok with that. He's riveted when things explode. He likes to pull dangerous stunts, like swan diving off the couch and eating things off the floor. He spends way to much time in the bathroom. He'd rather be dirty.

He loves his mama.

His mama loves him.

He is a little boy, but I can already see a man lurking beneath the surface.

I've got 16.5 years to pound it into something respectable enough to bring to dinner.