Part of my little blog reader tracking dealio is that it tells me the search keywords people have used that led them to my blog. Here's today's most interesting:
"getting ur testicals sucked" [sic]
How did ^^^THIS^^^ lead to my blog? Because honestly, between you, me, and my husband, that is probably the LAST thing that would lead you to me in any way. Not unless you are looking for a "good luck with that, honey" and a pat on the back.
I'm confounded as to why that sentence would lead you to my blog instead of one of the eight hundred million baZILLION sites out there that would... ummm... cater... to your interest. *Ahem* But person, if you are here, I don't judge. Well that's not true, but I don't judge you and your sexual proclivities. I DO judge your moronic and childish grammar and sentence structure. Maybe the reason you are stuck at home on a Saturday night reading mommy-blogs for kicks is because you have seemingly not mastered the most basic rules of the English Language. Furthermore, I would like to point out how lazy this sentence makes you seem. Do you understand that when us women (or men, again no judging) see that you use these fainéant contractions and indolent grammar... Well, it makes us REALLY NOT WANT TO "suck ur testicals". Honestly now, if you are lazy there, we can only postulate that you will be lazy in bed, and if I am going to be doing all the work anyway, honey - I am going to be doing it alone. Ok? Ok.
Lastly: T-E-S-T-I-C-L-E-S. Just because that was bugging me.
Get a girlfriend. And a good pharmacist. Get the pharmacist first. Best of luck!