Today he is moist

Last night I switched around some furniture in the baby's nursery, because he was getting so big that he'd bonk his head on the shelves above his dresser/change table.

I forgot about the bum cream in his top drawer.

I put the dresser/change table next to the crib.

I went in to get him this morning, and he was so white he looked like a ghost of himself. It was such a stark white that he actually kind of looked pale blue.

Bum cream does not come off, you have to wait for it to soak into skin. Unless of course your baby is climbing all over you, or the couch, or any other fabric surface in the house, and then it will lovingly transfer to all of those whilst remaining also on baby's skin.

Can you still classify your couch as 'beige' if it has brown chocolate smears, blue pen ink drawings, unidentified purple blotches, grey watermarks, and is covered in a fine white film of bum cream?

You just KNOW there is a post coming wherein I slipcover it...

Nitrites??!? Ewwwww!

Yeah I fed him a Luncheable. Lynch me.

I love it soooo much

Do you have a favorite little corner of your house where it's just so pretty it makes you smile every time you walk by? This is fast becoming one of mine:

The Dining Room, or should I say "Dining area of the Living Room" is so small, but I've been wanting a china (chinet) cabinet for storage. Then I found this one, and it was love at first sight!

I love the decorative shape of the door panels and, well, the shape of the whole thing.

I love how it holds all my collectables, and I ADORE the chicken-wire over glass in the bottom panels. It's a PITA to clean, but the things we do for beauty...

I also love the little stained flowers. You have to really look to see them, so it's not loud and obvious and in-your-face.

Working in such a small space means you have to kind of jam everything you need in one on top of the other, which is why the Ficus tree is stuck between the couch and cabinet, and then has a table in front of it (which actually works well at keeping the baby out of the dirt! I think this little nook of my house turned out pretty well! I just want to cozy up and be surrounded by my favorite things.

(By the way, when I first got this cabinet home it REEKED of cigarette smoke. Gross. That is what the Lemon Oil in my last post was for, and it worked a charm! Imagine if it had actually been the Furniture Stripper after all? All those pretty little flowers would be gone. Gone gone gone. And I'd be PISSED.)

Uh oh...

This is what I bought to treat my antique furniture with:

Today, Finnigan shredded the paper wrapper, and this is what was revealed:

Uh oh.

School Spring Fair!

There was a cake walk, a silent auction, bake sale, raffle, bounce house obstacle course, mini golf, a clown, a singer guy, hot dogs... Unfortunately I missed EVERYTHING because the guy who was supposed to take over the bean bag toss from me at 12:30 didn't bother to show. Neither did the guy supposed to take over from HIM at 1:30. Or the one taking over at 2:30. At 3pm I just shut the damn booth down. It was either that, or start whipping bean bags at the little brats children. Besides, I hadn't eaten yet and I had to pee! At least I only had to buy one set of tickets for my own kids. Once those were gone I just recycled from my booth. I figure if I'm stuck there, my kids should at least get to play (without me) for free. Maybe I'll get detention for it, or get sent to the principals office. I hope it's quiet there.

But it was a sunny day, and I came home with all three children I started out with. That my friends is a SUCCESS.

This is dentistry I cannot handle

Somehow... I cannot get past the 'HOW' portion of this.

SOMEHOW Lily walked into a parked car and broke her front tooth. Her new, front, ADULT tooth.

HOW she didn't see the huge hulking hunk of metal is beyond me. HOW she walked into it hard enough to break her own toothi is beyond me.

What I'm going to do about it is beyond me. I forsee us spending much time at the dentist for her with her cornerless tooth and me with my cavernous cavity.

First we have to sort out the dental coverage on The Daddy's insurance. Barf.

I hate teeth.

Can't win for trying

When we moved, I transferred a bunch of the bills to the new house. The services transferred, the billing transferred... The account numbers did not. The first payment or two that got screwed up was to be expected. Call the company, get the credit off the dead account, transfer it to the new account. Memorize hold muzak, know all the automated hold messages by heart, been on first-name basis with all support persons and their spouses, call bank, change account numbers at bank. Next month, pay bill, get disconnection notice, call company, transfer credit, hold, call bank, change account numbers at bank.
Next month, repeat. And again.

I am so. frustrated. Why can't the bank understand this simple concept? Is it because they're not making any money off of taking one direct payment account off my payee list and adding another? Are they all one armed monkeys? Pigeons learn faster than this. Call up payee list. Find desired payee. Delete one account number. Write in another. Easy peasy. Here, let me do it.

I've been on the phone while they do it. I've stood over the teller while she did it. I've done it myself online. Somehow those idiots still manage to keep paying my OLD account while my new one goes to disconnection.

I may need a new bank. That or I'll have to start hand-delivering all my bill payments, which would be a real pain in my ass.

At least I've made friends at bill companies. They're going to be able to do all this without me even calling soon.

By the way, why don't dead accounts get deleted? Why is my old account even able to accept a payment? That makes no sense to me.

Plot point 'pinions please!

I am attempting my first novel. I am maybe midway through the first chapter. It is something nobody who knows me would ever think I would write, but it is coming surprisingly easily. I so want to talk about it here, but when you risk putting your ideas out in the world you risk someone else taking them and running with them. Hmmm. On the flip side, I really want to know if the basis for the book, the main idea of it, is interesting enough - if it would make random people want to read my book. I just don't know. Not to mention that I'm only midway through the first chapter, so I'M not entirely sure what my book is about. Lol.



I will tell you a very vague little bit, and you all tell me what you think, ok?



I guess the best way to describe it would be to say that it is about a man who is a vigilante serial killer (and he really does focus on a certain kind of earth-scum, though I haven't fully decided on his motivations yet). Does that make any sense? It's not going to be a shootkillmaimdestroy action novel, but darker and hopefully more though-provoking. I am kind of living vicariously through my main character, and I really want my readers to side with him, and root for him, and think of HIM (or 'them', he may have allies) as the good guy even though he's sort of a bad guy. Now that I've reduced it down to that, it kind of sounds like a boatload of other books out there. Just remember it's the details that will make it unique. ;) I don't think the focus of the book will be primarily what he does, either, but more the other characters' thoughts and actions regarding what he's done. The police, the media, general society, and the judicial system. The novel will be propelled by the idea that being bad for good reasons is still being bad - but can the impetus ever be good enough that people want to overlook the bad - or do most people seperate the motivation from the action and judge accordingly? Basically, all killers have their own motivations. But what if inherently good, normal, law-abiding people agree with it? If someone good does something bad to a bad person, what does that make them? Is a vigilante really ever any more, any better than a villian?

I don't know how else to explain it, I've probably just muddled it all up and left you all scratching your heads. At the very least, it is interesting to me, and I am enjoying writing it. Not that that will help pay the bills at all.


My main character's name is John. Discuss!

Exhausted, but not hugely successful

Well, I didn't make my goal amount, but I did have a few people through. I'm exhausted. Yard sales are a surprising amount of work on an empty stomach.

We got rained out at about 2pm, but we had a decent run for less than 24 hours notice, haha.

I've rescheduled for this Saturday, it is supposed to be sunny and warm! Now to advertise and round up anything else I can think of. Next time I will be more successful, this we'll call practice. This one was just to make the money to cover the cheques I wrote. I did that at least. Next weekend is for PROFIT. ;)

Anyone wanna come babysit my kids next weekend? I really don't want to just let them fend for themselves again.

I'm so tired.

Randomosity

Could Brad Pitt be any cuter in the movie "Ocean's 11"? I could just spread him on a cracker.

OMG freakout begins... Now

Today I decided on a whim to quit this stupid Craigslist nonsense and just hold a yard sale. So, I put up an ad on Craigslist (shut up) to advertise my yard sale, for TOMORROW. (Canada people, it's a holiday ok?)

Ohhh, tonight is gonna be an all-nighter, methinks.

Who's dumb idea was this anyway, to hold a last-minute, thrown-together yard sale with three kids and no help? Lily, Rachel, consider yourselves drafted.

Goal: $100

I'll let you know how it goes. If I don't post tomorrow night, it either went so well that I'm exhausted, so poorly that I'm drunk, or I just gave up and sold myself into slavery.

Wish me luck!

I should have known

I got tired of the cat meowing in the bathtub for a drink, or attempting to drink out of the toilet (mainly because my girls do not know how to flush) so I bought him one of those re-circulating dome-shaped water fountain things for cats.

He is afraid of it.

Product Review: Vileda Scrunge

Vileda Scrunge

FAIL. Not impressive at all. For the amount of scrubbing I had to do with it, I could have used a wad of spit and a cotton ball and gotten the same results. My glass/ceramic cooktop was not restored to new with a few quick passes and a look of accomplishment. There was sweat. There were tears. There was a complete thrashing of my manicure. There were minimal results.

You know what works better, for 1/20th the price? A good old fashioned S.O.S pad. Man I love those things.

Scrunge bad. S.O.S pad good.

Now you know.

Also, today at Walmart I got sucked into buying some Sham-Wow knockoffs. Review coming soon!

Back from the near-dead

So the allergy madness led, of course, to the migraine madness. Or was it the fact that my husband has returned from army camping that led to the migraine madness? Either way, my head hurt. The halo's, the throwing up, the vertigo... Fun times. But double-dosing on the good pills (two kinds) and a 5 hour nap cleared that sucker right up (the next day)! I digress...



The Daddy has returned, briefly. Let's all thank the powers that be for me having someone to hold down the couch. You'd think someone who had been holed up with a bunch of other men deep in the woods, living in a tent would want to go out and partake in civilization. Oh no, not MY husband. The couch it is. Which means I have been subjected to nothing but sports and Family Guy since he got here. I don't know which I dislike more. At least with sports I can be vindictive and root for whichever team he isn't. Hehehehe. Because I am a good wife that way.



In other news, I got a notice from the girls's school the other day that they both are participating in a play. This means they need costumes. In FOUR DAYS. Freaking great. I say that drawing whiskers on them and writing "dog" and "bunny" on their respective foreheads is costume enough. Pig tails can double as floppy ears for both, no?



The baby is becoming quite the chatterbox, and also quite the cheese-a-holic. Which means I am forever hearing "Chee? Chee? Chee?" until I break down and give him a cheese string. Could be worse, could be junk food. Finn has taken it upon himself to teach The Daddy (who is a mechanic) what a car is. Everytime there is a car on tv (much fun during Nascar) on the road, driving by the house, in the parking lot, parked outside our house, Finn will point and tell Andrew "Car!" except it comes out more like "cahhh...r?" because he's not quite two. It's pretty cute, and it gives me a break from the constant begging for cheese. Solution? Download the movie "Cars" and put it on the big screen! Ohhh, it was entrancing. Two hours of silence, except for the occasional chubby little finger pointing and baby-voice "CAHH...R!" from the peanut gallery.



My house is destroyed. The kitchen is a disaster, with no clean dishes whatsoever, the living room is absolutely wall-to-wall, and the bathroom... Let's not even talk about the bathroom. It makes me want to cry. Even the little room at the front door, remember that tiny little space? Even it is in desperate need of some domestic attentions. My lawn needs to be mowed, my bed needs to have bedding put back on it, I'm not caught up on laundry, and today is a freaking HOLIDAY, which means all the kids are here. And the damn cat won't shut up. He is so dumb, he doesn't even know what he is meowing at. He wants to go outside, but he is afraid of outside. He is hungry, but forgets where his food dish lives. He is thirsty, so he waits in the bathtub for someone to have a shower, unless I place him literally IN his waterbowl. At least he is clean, and affectionate. I swear though, his mother must have dropped him on his head too many times.



OK, I think we're caught up. Nothing terribly interesting, but this isn't freaking Disneyland. I have some posts coming, but they will have to wait until I muck out my house. Ugh. I think I'll just move.

Allergies are kicking my ass

Ugh. Something has bloomed, and my body does not like it. Full on allergy attack. I wised up though, and bought some allergy medicine. Do you think it is working? Yeah, me neither. I even got two different kinds. My ears are still swollen, my nose is still running, and my throat hurts. My eyes are still itchy and watery. I am pretty hot stuff, I tell you what.

Does anything work? I mean, aside from moving?

This city has sooooo many parks

We go to a new one every time! Here's today's:

Poor thing is sleeping like a log tonight. ;)

Rinse, repeat

So I mopped the floors this afternoon. I just took this picture after dinner. See? Can you see the clean underneath the fresh layer of dirty?

But then, then I mopped again, AND waxed, and now look! So shiny!

Is it only me though, who thinks that these real-wood floors always look dirty? Do you know how many knots I tried to scrub off today, thinking they were ground-in raisins? I think I'm just used to my old fake-wood floors...

I'm not going to bed tonight. Oh no, I will be sitting here enjoying my clean floors for the precious few hours they will be clean. Children have an aversion to clean floors, as evidenced above. I mean, just hazard a guess as to where the baby sits. I dare you.

So, so pretty... I need better smelling wax though, this smells like fake fruit. Ick. But so pretty!

The easiest room in the house to keep clean

Yes, it really is *that* big. Just enough space to open the door (most of the way).

And what's behind the secret curtain? Why the Front Hall Closet from Hell, that's what! It's where clutter goes to die. I'm so not showing you THAT.

Chick'n 'n' rice

Just so nobody forgets what they look like:

I don't know why Lily has a topknot. She did her own hair today.

Do I win the 'Ugliest Tablecloth Ever' award or what?

I don't know why the colour is coming out funny, it's actually a mustard yellow print on a khaki background. Fantastic.

Note to Self:

Self, you do NOT like flavoured coffees. So stop buying them!

You like Creme Brulee - not Creme Bruleee coffee.

Stick to the classic roast already, mmkay?

Sincerely,
You.