Can't win for trying

When we moved, I transferred a bunch of the bills to the new house. The services transferred, the billing transferred... The account numbers did not. The first payment or two that got screwed up was to be expected. Call the company, get the credit off the dead account, transfer it to the new account. Memorize hold muzak, know all the automated hold messages by heart, been on first-name basis with all support persons and their spouses, call bank, change account numbers at bank. Next month, pay bill, get disconnection notice, call company, transfer credit, hold, call bank, change account numbers at bank.
Next month, repeat. And again.

I am so. frustrated. Why can't the bank understand this simple concept? Is it because they're not making any money off of taking one direct payment account off my payee list and adding another? Are they all one armed monkeys? Pigeons learn faster than this. Call up payee list. Find desired payee. Delete one account number. Write in another. Easy peasy. Here, let me do it.

I've been on the phone while they do it. I've stood over the teller while she did it. I've done it myself online. Somehow those idiots still manage to keep paying my OLD account while my new one goes to disconnection.

I may need a new bank. That or I'll have to start hand-delivering all my bill payments, which would be a real pain in my ass.

At least I've made friends at bill companies. They're going to be able to do all this without me even calling soon.

By the way, why don't dead accounts get deleted? Why is my old account even able to accept a payment? That makes no sense to me.