Finnigan has 6 teeth. Lillian just lost her 5th, with another hanging on by a thread. Coincidence? Or does the toothfairy keep tabs on these things? Like, each family can only have x number of teeth at any given moment. Maybe I should donate a few of mine before Lily loses so many teeth she's stuck eating food Finnigan has long mastered. I have enough trouble keeping meat on her bones feeding her a carefully concocted diet of red meat-and-fried foods with a carb-and-lard chaser. Sometimes, when she's sleeping, I make her drink bacon fat. Daddy's high-protein muscle-building shakes double as chocolate milk. I add baby cereal to her juice and make smoothies. And STILL, if you turn her sideways, she dissappears. This vindictive beyotch of a toothfairy is NOT HELPING. If she loses any more teeth I'm going to have to hook her up with a IV of sour cream and mayonnaise.
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.