This shall go down in history as my worst idea for at LEAST the last 24 hours. Two words: Pre-waxed strips. (Or is that two-and-a-half words?) Let me share my newfound wisdomosity with you. Leave the waxing to the professionals. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to wax any part of yourself that requires ANY of the following:
You've been warned.
Lesson number one: Waxing HURTS.
Lesson number two: Water, soap, shampoo, bubble bath, toothpaste, shave cream, facial scrub, conditioner, moisturizer, bath salts, anusol, and Windex all fall squarely into the "Does Not Remove Wax" category. Milk Bath powder, dissolved in water, DOES. Oddly.
Lesson number three: Being professionally waxed, even if it means letting a stranger get ALLLLL up in your business is worth it. Just for the fact that you will not find yourself glued to your toilet seat with fingers covered in ripped-up shreds of everything you've touched.
Bonus Lesson number four: No, hair-removal wax DOES NOT double as a nice paraffin wax spa treatment. Not even close.